Wednesday, May 23, 2007

Good news first

Since it's always best to start with the good news, I'm still pregnant. That was a serious doubt for me for almost four days though, and that's what the bad news was (and is). Does that make any sense?

Friday night I came home from work and started spotting (all brown, nothing red or even pink). Well, brown spotting freaks me out more than anything else because that's the only symptom I had when I had my first miscarriage. Brown spotting for a week led to an ultrasound with no heartbeat. So, brown spotting this time around made me head for bed. As much as I could, I stayed in bed all weekend. Braeden hung out with me some of the time, and I ate all my meals in bed. It was pretty pathetic.

I finally called the on-call nurse Sunday afternoon when I was home alone. Other than Mat and Braeden, she was the only person I spoke to all weekend. Anyway, the nurse was pretty calm about the whole thing. Unless I was soaking a pad in an hour or having cramping or contractions, she said I should just rest and drink lots of fluids. Could she tell I had been bed-bound for a day and a half??

Monday morning I went to work, and the spotting had pretty much stopped. I finally told someone about the spotting, and Emily and I exchanged hopeful e-mails. I was feeling better, then I went to the bathroom and found red blood. RED is bad, right? I was more convinced than ever that this pregnancy was OVER. But I got myself straight home and back into bed.

Tuesday morning I went to the doctor. Took Mat with me because I wanted someone there for the bad news I was certain was coming. They did bloodwork, then I sat down with Tanya (my midwife) for a few minutes. She did an internal exam and found that my cervix was irritated. She thought that might be where the blood was coming from since she touched it and it bled a little. Tanya did some swabs to look for infection, then we tried to hear the heartbeat. Apparently, you can start to hear it as soon as 9 weeks. We couldn't find it, but Tanya reassured me that the pubic bone usually gets in the way when it's this early. After the exam, we had to wait about 20 minutes for the ultrasound. This was what I had been dreading.

I climb up on the table, and the first thing the tech does is show us the baby's heartbeat. I was stunned. Literally, open mouth, tears, heart stopped. I even asked Are you sure? Really? Then we heard the heartbeat and saw this tiny blob moving around. We even got our first picture which Mat will scan for me tomorrow. I'll post it when I get it.

There is a little bad news, but nothing too overwhelming. First of all, my cervix was irritated but I didn't have an infection. But the blood was probably coming from the tiny subchorionic tear I have. If I understand right, that means there's a small tear in the lining underneath the placenta. They'll keep watching it because normally these tears (especially when they're so small like mine) heal themselves. So, here's hoping my cervix and this tear get better all on their own.

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